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| Pranks, Revenge, And General Mayhem Volumes 9-18 AUTOMOTIVE REVENGE: You have been ripped off by a mechanic: the problem in your car that he supposedly fixed has come back, after only a short while, and he won't cover it by warranty. Solution: Between the hours of 4 and 6 AM, "install" a similar fault into his own car. If it's the transmission, drain all his fluid. If it's the radiator, punch a nice big hole in it. If it's gaskets, apply acid to these so that HIS will fail too. If it's electrical, introduce a few nice shorts in the area that didn't work on your car. Be creative but be discreet! After all, his car is parked right outside his own house! You have noticed that the gasoline from one particular station or chain is causing a lot of knocking or blue smoke or other problems (maybe that's why you went to the above asshole mechanic). You can no longer stand it when you notice that old people are passing you on the freeway at 35 mph! Only one thing to do here: get back at that gas station/chain! Ways to do this: - Place DIRTY motor oil in the windshield washer buckets. - LATE at night when the station is closed, put a few kilos of laundry detergent, sulfuric nitric or hydrochloric acid, sugar or other substance in the underground holding tanks. - LATE at night, run a hose from the nearest water tap (every gas station has one) to an underground gas holding tank. Turn it on and leave, letting water run ALL NIGHT. In the morning there will be water and gas everywhere, and the gas remaining in the tank will be unsaleable. - Use Krazy Glue to sabotage gas pumps. THE COIN-OP RIPOFF: Everyone gets pissed when a coin operated machine takes their money and fails to deliver the goods. Here are ways in which you can get back at the morons who own these machines and refuse to keep them in some sort of working order. - Take a piece of paper, about 4" x 4", fold until it is the thickness of the coin slot, place this in the coin slot, force it down out of sight with a pocket knife, and chase it with a few drops of Krazy Glue. Result is that the vending company needs a new coin assembly for the machine. - If you can get large amounts of Krazy Glue, place a lot of it down the coin slot by itself. It will (a) freeze the coin mechanism and (b) glue the contents of the coin box together. - If the machine is one of a bank of several machines, get several pieces of paper. Write "OUT OF ORDER" on all of them, and fix them to each of the machines in the row, whether or not they are working. Result: no more business. If you REALLY carry a grudge, you can always place such a sign on EVERY machine owned by the offending company. ESPECIALLY effective in an arcade when you label 40 or 50 machines OUT OF ORDER. If you really get into this practice just for the fun of it, get some letraset and make up a professional-looking OUT OF ORDER sign, complete with a logo of the company you seek to avenge. Make 1.5 million copies of this and have a ball. - If you are ripped off by a pay-phone, call the operator and pretend you are retarded. Ask a lot of questions about why the phone ate your coin and you couldn't make a call, and take FOREVER. And when the operator tries to answer, don't understand. Take about 15 minutes of a Bell employee's (paid) time and you will have cost the phone company way more than their ripoff payphone ever took from you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- RESTAURANT REVENGE: Well, the food sucked. That's a good enough reason to want to exact revenge upon these evil establishments. There are only a few things you can get away with, but they are good. - Vomit. Right there at your table, as loudly as you can. Stick your finger down your throat if necessary, but make sure that by the time you have emptied your stomach, there is a great pool of puke on the floor and everyone in the entire place is looking at you. This will bring about many apologies from the staff of the place, and gross a few patrons out enough that some may make a point of never returning. Hell, if the food's bad enough, you may even get applauded by the patrons! - Surreptitiously place various "ingredients" on salad bar/buffet items. Tabasco sauce in the thousand island dressing will do WONDERS for the place's reputation. - If you REALLY are brave and have a lot of time to burn, get hired as a waiter for that place. When serving people, use a BAD attitude, and when people ask you why you are so rude, mumble something about the place's "employee training program". Or, say that you can't stand to work for such a sleazy operation, and that you will be quitting soon. Make up a few horror stories about what goes on in the kitchen. Sure you will get fired, but you will have succeeded in damaging the place's rep. This is a HIGHLY ADVANCED revenge technique, only use it if you are a good actor and hold a real grudge. SCHOOL REVENGE: What do teachers and principals do that would warrant revenge? LOTS. They impose unrealistic deadlines for assignments, they militantly enforce preposterous rules and impose punishments that are repugnant to your freedom and dignity. Despite the fact that your parents are paying their salaries, they look down on you as the lowest scum on earth. What can you do? PLENTY. Read on. - Teachers seem to be obsessed with their careers. Therefore, there is no better way of freaking out a teacher than to have his employment threatened. What you can do is send the principal a letter. Allege that the target teacher is a sex offender. There have been so many of these lately that an investigation WILL result if you make the letter convincing enough. Make it anonymous, because you "couldn't face your parents or peers after what you have been subjected to". Make sure the letter is handwritten by a girl accomplice if you are a male; at the high-school age it is not difficult to tell a girl's handwriting from a guy's. In any case, the teacher will have the freakiest period of his career as he is inquisited. - If the target is a REAL tyrant, and you know many people who agree, then you may have an actual case against the person. Have everyone in every one of the target's classes sign a petition demanding the end of the idiot's reign of terror. Despite the fact that you would never rat on a friend, teachers expect you to tell on other students, so give them a taste of their own preaching (????). - Schools often expect you to sit through idiotic presentations on drinking and driving, smoking, drugs, why you should go to church, ad nausaeum. While these may be beneficial to some idiots, your intelligence is insulted by these suckholes-in-action. What do you do? Well, you can sabotage any audio-visual equipment that may be used in the presentation beforehand. If the presentation is being given by an outside group, e.g. the police or MADD, then what you can do is, the day before the presentation, have an older, respectable-sounding accomplice phone the agency and "cancel" it, posing as the principal. They will want to know why and when it can be re-scheduled to, so have some excuses handy. Enough about the teachers and administration. What about your fellow students, not all of whom are your best friends (heh heh heh heh)??? They can be royal pains in the ass too. Some will nark on you, others will beat you up, still others will try to rip you off or make you look like an idiot. What can you do about these moronotrons? - If you have been narked on continuously, get the fink back with the following method: (1) After school, after the geke has left, plant some weed or porno magazines or other contraband in the geke's locker. (2) The next morning, right around the first bell, phone the school and tell them there is a time bomb in one of the lockers. Don't laugh or giggle, they will know if you are full of shit. Anyways, there will immediately be a search of ALL lockers, and when Mr Dickhead's locker is looked at, he will have a LOT of explaining to do... - If you are intimidated by a bully or gang at school, place small bombs in their lockers, activated by a switch that is closed when the locker opens... At first this will only make them mad but if you do it enough times, you are guaranteed to turn the tables of terror on them. WARRANTY FAILURE REVENGE: OK, you have bought a product and either it blew up ONE day after the warranty expired or it developed a problem not covered by the warranty. In either case you are screwed while the assholes that sold you the piece of shit laugh all the way to the bank. What contingencies exist for this quandry? - If you bought it from a store, the appropriate thing to do is give the store a whole lot of warranty returns. This involves subtly sabotaging shelf stock, with Krazy Glue, a pocket knife, or whatever tools are on hand. Make sure that the damage you is internal or not noticeable so that someone buys the thing. Do this to many units of the same item, and all throughout the store. The returns department (the one that screwed you around in the first place) will have a nightmare. - Another tactic is to write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper. Explain to the public what happened and why you will never give that store your business again. This will cost you nothing, and the paper will most likely print it. This is perfectly legal, and as long as you tell the truth, you cannot be sued for defamation of character or libel. - If you got the heap of shit from a mail-order fly-by-nite outfit, then there is no way you can sabotage their stock, and a letter in the local paper won't do much to them if they are an out of town place. So you screw them through their main marketing medium: the mail! If you have read the articles on credit card fraud, you will already be prepared for this next technique: Using a phony credit card number (or a stolen one) order a whole lot of things by phone, all in separate orders, and all to different NON-EXISTENT ADDRESSES. Keep this up for awhile and they will surely go bonkers over all the "Returned to Sender" packages they get. - Alternatively, if you are a phreak, pick THEIR 800 number to hack the wats extender from. - Or get a bunch of friends together and tie up their 800 lines with phony orders (using "carding" techniques of course). - Send the company a few letters saying how well their company has gone over in the Gay Community in your area, and to expect lots of orders and endorsements (hee hee hee hee) from your fellow gays and the following Gay Pride groups (list a few from the San Francisco yellow pages...). Or, if you don't think fags will be repulsive enough to Ripoff Mail Order Inc., then send a similar letter from the Nazis or the Ku Klux Klan or the Communist party, along the same lines. If you decide to send several to the same place at the same time, make sure the cities in the return address are all different -------------------------------- Answering Machines ------------------ There are several methods of ruining your friends' lives via their answering machines. You can fill their incoming message tapes with bogus messages, you can turn them on/off remotely and hear/erase all the messages, and in some beauties, you can change the outgoing message. The latter is the most devastating of all answering machine methods, and it will get the most space here. - Most answering machines today have "beeperless remote" features, even in the bargain-basement models. Normally they are protected by a security code of between 1 and 3 digits, and quite often even the 3-digit ones are so easily cracked it's disgusting. Once "inside" an answering machine, you can do a number of things. Always, you will be able to hear, and later erase, any incoming messages. This is helpful to the prankster in that it lets him intercept his target's important messages, indicating the target's future whereabouts for later attacks. It also, of course, can be used to prevent the target from receiving important messages, with possible dire consequences to the target's social/work life. - Another interesting feature of many answering machines is the ability to change the outgoing message. When I bought my own unit, the last thing I asked the salesman was, "Can you change the outgoing message from remote?" As soon as he said "No" I bought it. That's how you should shop for answering machines too, as is about to become clear... A few messages to replace a target's answering message with: Blackmail messages: "Hi, you have reached Wayne's House of Drugs. Currently we have Home Boge, Mexican redhair, Black hash from California, crack and Ice in stock. Please leave your name, phone number, and the amount and kind of poison you need and I'll get back to you. Thanks and Party Hardy! BEEEEEEP" "This is The Installer's Codeline. Here are this weeks codes: 604 385 9682 0194. 604 477 9980 6682. 604 727 4432 8282. These are all BC Tel Calling Cards. Please leave your codes at the tone. BEEEEEEEEP" A slightly less malignant blackmail message: "Hi, this is the Silva Residence. No one can come to the phone right now since we're having our nightly session of hot steamy gay family orgy fun. As soon as we get out of the shower, we'll call you back. See ya later, you hunk of man-meat you! BEEEEEEEP" For a machine in a doctor's office: "You have reached Dr. Jones' office. We are sorry, but this office is closed due to a pending malpractice suit. Thank you for calling. BEEEEEEP" For a known police informer (to wit: a NARC): "This is the Sidney RCMP. There is no-one in the station to take your call right now. If this is an emergency, officers are available at the Sidney Donut Shoppe, at 656-4983. BEEEEEEEEP" (The above blackmail messages also work well for narcs) Universally useful: "This answering machine accepts all collect calls. (10 second pause while operator does her thing) Here are this weeks codes: (etc etc etc)" Here's something I have never tried, tell me if it works for you: Send your mark's machine several seconds of 2600 Hz and the appropriate MF coding for a nice faraway lame BBS or something, as the outgoing message. Then advertise (anonymously) on some other faraway BBSes the existence of a new BBS with no download ratios, 25,000 files, etc etc etc. What happens is that when someone calls LD (and they will), the answering machine will start blue boxing. The phone company will not be pleased. I'm sure you can think of a lot more. - Here are a few hints and pointers: My ex-roomie, a consummate dick-head worthy of everything he has gotten in the process of beta testing these pranks (as a matter of trivia, he's the Wayne in Wayne's House of Drugs) has a nice Cobra answering machine. Well, not only did he pay 3 times for his machine as much as I paid for mine, but his has only a wimpy one-digit code (it's 5) and lets you change the outgoing message from remote. Other answering machines have a 2 or 3 digit combination but actually accept ANY digit on the row or column of the "actual" code number, thus bringing the number of possible codes down to near-zero. Still other machines have stupid codes like 123, 369, etc (some of those are the previous kind). Almost all answering machine codes are hardcoded; I have seen dip-switches and PC-mounted rotary switches allowing owners to change their codes at will, but these beauties are rare, fortunately. The best thing you can do is acquire a library of users manuals for various machines to learn their code conventions and instruction sets. This can be readily accomplished by hanging out in department stores etc that sell the things. There is no Canadian Law explicitly dealing with answering-machine tampering, but all of these pranks can lead to your being charged with common mischief at the least. Caveat Trickstor. Linemans' Handset Methods ------------------------- Please don't refer to a homebuilt lineman's handset as a "bud box", "brown box", "beige box", "tan box", "modu box", "terminal box", or anything else so lame. There is no technical wizardry in ripping the mod plug off your phone and replacing it with 'gator clips. If you can get a real handset, do so because they are specially ballasted to allow near-silent line interception whereas modified Flip-fone ]['s will always generate a nice clunk on the line when you attach, and often will even tinkle the bell on phones in your target's house. Using a handset to do nothing but place phree phone kawlz is lame; the true misanthrope phreak knows the true power of his tool. - Custom calling! It's been said that the only person you can't prank is someone who lives in a cave as a hermit. And it's true in phoneland too, the more services your target subscribes to, the easier it is to have phun with his miserable little life. Take call forwarding. If your mark has this most useful of services, you've got it made. Goto your target's phone terminal box-ette on the side of his house one fine sunday morning (revenge on the Lord's Day is no sacrilege to an anarchist) at 4:30, clip on your awesome modu-box, and try a few of these little gems: :Forward all his calls to 911, the police or Fire Dep't. Guaranteed results at the very first incoming call. :Forward calls to Dial-A-Prayer, Dial-A-Meditation (we have a great Sri Chinmoy recording in Victoria, BC, at 604-595-2721). I used to do this with my own line sometimes, it really fucks incoming callers minds up. :Forward calls to yourself. Risky, but if your mark doesn't have an answering machine you can use your own machine to use the above-mentioned Answering Machine methods. :Forward calls long-distance. In 604, calls that are forwarded long-distance are paid for by the forwarding party, i.e. your target. It should work the same in many other area codes too, call your local telco customer service rep to find out. This can have horrible implications... :...if you forward those calls to a BBS, or better still a code-line and advertise your mark's number as the "new local node for the MegaLeech AE". :Forwarding to a 1-900 or 1-976 dial-it service works well too. Since most of these are voice-only, it is very easy to program a large number of people to start calling your mark on short notice, and the target gets stuck with the bill. :Forwarding to your phone comany's local security office is a sign of true arrogance on your part, as everyone gets hosed. Do it sometime. :Forward calls to a number that is not in service. Effect is self explanatory. :Set your own (or another target's) call forwarding to forward to your primary target. Then have the target's forwarding set to your own number (or the secondary target). Can you say endless forwarding loop? Be warned that some phoneco's have gotten wind of this concept and installed anti-loop safeguards. :Forward calls to just about anything offensive and blackmailable, gay sex lines, the Nazi Party, the KKK, the Jehovah's Witnesses, need I get graphic? :Forward to voice-mail systems. These are great as most will record MF tones so the abovementioned blue-boxing-answering-machine trick will work, in a roundabout way, via forwarding. They also let you wash your hands clean of any answering-machine/forwarding combos you pull. Electrical Fun -------------- As any phone freak worthy of his k-bud box knows, telephones require certain specific voltage levels in order to operate. Run them too far below these voltages, and they crap out and die. Run them too high, and they blow up and melt. - An old trick, but it has been such a great standby for tricksters, no phone tricks file is complete without it: Drive to your target's residence (4:30 AM on a sunday is definitely the best time for this). Have an accomplice keep the motor running and the car door open. Head on up to that trusty little grey box on the side of Mr. Victim's house, and attach the 'gator clip ends of your "suicide plug" to the phone terminals. Now, I sure hope you brought a LONG suicide plug because it is likely that the only outside 120VAC outlet on the house is on the other side. Murphy's law applies to revenge just as in any other walk of life so be prepared. Now, when you plug that suicide plug into Mr. Outside Outlet on Mr. Victim's house, the effect will be immediate and striking: Every phone in the house will ring loudly and violently. Older mechanical phones might survive having 110 VAC running through them continuously for several minutes, but electronic phones and especially MODEMS will be destroyed. You run the risk of being charged with arson if you are caught, so don't be. RUN, don't walk, to your waiting getaway vehicle and HAUL ASS OUTA THERE before someone comes to the window and gets your licence plate. If you don't mind paying a price for your assured freedom, placing a timer (.95 at London Drugs for the cheapest light timers) on the suicide plug will give you a nice safe delay but you'll miss the fireworks... - "The Scarlet Box" was a resistor, circa 6000 ohms, placed across the phone terminals. It had the effect of putting a load on the line that caused horrible noise. Another thing to do is try a capacitor instead, a nice non-polarised electrolytric can. It does wonders to the lines bandwidth. - How about this: Basic phone service carries its audio on a DC bias "carrier." Transformers and capacitors don't like DC but they pass AC just fine. So, put a cap in series on the line. Phone rings, yes, because ringing voltage is AC. Phone give dial tone? Noooooo.... Fixer stop talking in Taiwanese english now. - If your mark's phone terminal box is adjacent to several others, or shares a box with others, then start connecting them together in parallel. Make sure you match rings with rings, tips with tips. Many interesting effects. Krazy Glue the boxes shut when you're done to "save your changes" permanently. Well, that's it. This file is probably 100% illegal and banned by law, but damned if I'm not going to exercise my right to copyright it. This file is not in the public domain. Sysops of other BBSes are licensed to distribute it free of charge on the sole condition that it is distributed in its entirety and with all bylines and copyrights intact, and with no text added. I've been in the IBM world too long, you can probably tell, but it roast my butt what some lamers are doing to decent text files these days. ---------------------------------- Addendum to Pranks XVI: In Pranks 16, I suggested changing a victim's outgoing answering machine message to something embarrassing or injurious to its owner. This seemed like it was enough at the time, but in practical use, I have found that the victim's friends will call and alert the victim to the situation before any damage is done. This situation calls for a bud box. Immediately after changing your victim's outgoing message (I have found, by the way, that LIVE CREDIT CARD numbers work best as incriminating "evidence" on an answering machine) you need to go to your victim's house with a lineman's handset and "acquire" his dial tone from the service terminal on the outside of the house. If he lives in an apartment building you will have to scope out the location of the phone room in advance and be prepared to use lock picks. Once you have his dial tone (test by calling ANA), call the police emergency number, or just 9-1-1. As soon as they answer, hang up. The police have your victim's number by now and they WILL call back. THAT is when they will hear your answering machine message, and ask themselves if they really want to "overlook" the fact that the line was answered by "Wacky Wayne's World of Weed." You have to get out of the area immediately. Do not speed or do anything that will attract police attention. They will be on the way to your victim's house to investigate the original abandoned-911 call, with orders coming in over the radio to sieze anything they find because of a possible drug/fraud/prostitution operation... ============================================================================== Ham Radio Revenge: Get on 2-meters and announce your victim's callsign. "This is VE7FAG, anyone on today?" "VE7FUC here, yeah me and the whole ham club are listening, plus our special guests from the DOC, what's on your mind VE7FAG?" Tell everyone to fuck off. This works better if you are parked across the street from your victim with a portable, in case the DOC is listening. When they arrive at the triangulated location, they'll find your victim and his ham shack, both of which they will cart off along with his ticket. Hint: Phreaking through an autopatch outdial using your victim's callsign is a sure way to attract official attention to him. Especially if you're calling a "Live Phone Sex" line, with all the other hams listening. ============================================================================== More 7-Eleven hints: * What the hell. Those "customer comment cards" that nobody ever fills out and mails to Head Office have got to be useful for something. Write Southland a horror story on one of those cards. Better yet, write a few dozen. Take them ALL and send them, Southland is paying the postage! Use all different names and addresses. Tell them you saw rats in the back room, or that the manager had a bottle of vodka under the counter, or that the burgers are rancid (that last one is REALLY easy to believe...). Staff turnover at 7-Eleven is so fast, SOMEONE's head will roll. Since Southland pays the postage (you just put the card in the mailbox) it is rather nicely antisocial to take the entire stack of "customer comment cards" and dump them in a mailbox blank. Away they'll go at 42 cents plus GST a pop. Can you imagine what would happen if you got hold of a million of these little cards and mailed them all? * A use for roadkill: Leave that dead cat/raccoon/whatever in the sun for a few days, until it's really ripe. Take it to 7-Eleven and put it in an outside garbage can (the ones that say "Pitch In"). Let the staff and clientele enjoy the aroma. * Probably one of the most prized posessions a skilled shoplifter/anarchist can own is a genuine 7-Eleven price tagging gun (ditto, by the way, for Radio Shack and K-Mart, and *some* of the following can be applied there too). There are usually several left around unattended on stock shipment day, which varies depending on locale but is usually the same day every week. If you can pocket one of these babies, you can use it later to create 7-Eleven price tags of any value. Give yourself a discount on anything you want. Don't make the discount too deep or you'll be suspected of label-switching. Also, make the labels in advance and stick them to the back cuff of your arm, just under your sleeve. Don't take the gun back to 7-Eleven under any circumstances. Alternatively, (and more fun) you can randomly give products DEEP discounts (or inflations) in price and just leave them there, causing all sorts of turmoil. RS and Kmart have computerized controls which prevent you from giving yourSELF discounts, but like in 7-Eleven you can still re-tag and re-shelf items, causing lots of mayhem, especially if someone of social standing happens to be the first victim... ============================================================================== I once had a roommate named Brad who slept like a log. Like a petrified log, in fact, because at 6:00 AM when his clock-radio alarm went off FULL BLAST, Brad slept through it. I don't know why he wanted to get up that early, but I only hope that if it was for a job, that he was fired for not showing up for work on time because even if my other roommate and I succeeded in waking him up after unplugging his clock radio, he'd just roll over and go back to sleep until 10:00 or 11:00 in the morning. Brad was practically screaming "beat the crap out of me" and he didn't even know it. Well, I decided that a mod to his clock radio would be in order. I was quite pleasantly surprised, actually. Most LED and Fluorescent-display standard clock radios used the same clock chip in those days (1987) - the EA7316. Surely enough, his clock radio had an EA7316. And thanks to my trusty Philips ECG semiconductor reference, I had its pinout. There are two pins you can cut on the EA7316 for two different effects. Pin 25 is the "Alarm Output" line, which turns on the radio when the alarm time is reached. Cut it, and the alarm will never go off again. This is the route I took with Brad, and he never once voiced any suspicion of tampering, even after he bought a new clock radio and the same thing happened to that one. "Must be hydro spikes" my other roomie knowingly suggested to Brad. Brad gave up on trying to wake up early after that. The other pins which you can cut, which I never tried, are pins 24 and 26. Pin 26 is the "Alarm Off Input" which basically is the signal from the alarm switch when you want to shut off the alarm function, which is how some people deal with the alarm when it wakes them. The other pin, 24, is the "Snooze Input" pin which is the input from the snooze bar. If you want to ensure that the alarm stays on full-time when it goes off, better cut both pins 24 and 26 (but for Ghod's sake leave 25 intact or it will never go off in the first place!). The alarm will sound for one hour solid, or, more likely, until your victim literally pulls the plug or attacks the clock with a polo mallet. When looking for the EA7316 you may find that your victim's clock has a different part number on the chip. Philips ECG makes a clone of this chip, part nos. ECG2060 and ECG2061 for the LED and Fluorescent versions respectively. Look up the number on the chip in your victim's clock and use the ECG cross-reference guide (available at professional-level electronic parts stores, i.e. not Radio Shack) to determine the ECG number. If it's 2060 or 2061 then the above tricks will work. Quick identifier: it's a 40-pin DIP. Use a good pair of fine side-cutters, because you don't want to mangle other pins in the process. You would be truly amazed at the percentage of the entire clock-radio "industry" that uses exactly the same main chip......... ============================================================================== Want to upload a virus to your victim's BBS, but don't want to trip his super-secure virus-catching scanner program that he runs automatically after every upload? Infect your drop program and then LZEXE or PKLITE it with encryption. The virus will be compressed (and thus rendered invisible to scanners) along with the drop program. Too bad the stupid git didn't think of that possibility. To my knowledge, only F-Prot in Heuristic mode flags self-compressed EXEs as "suspicious." Set your "dropper" to release the virus if it is run on any date about three months after you release the dropper to the public domain. This will give your dropper time to go wideband. By the time anyone notices that it's a dropper, everyone who has run your dropper will have the virus. Instant wideband virus distribution. I'll bet John McAfee wants Phil Katz shot for writing PKLite... ============================================================================== Some of the really big adult GIF boards have a few homo butfucking GIFs. If you have a colour page scanner and a picture of your victim, these homo GIFs have a use. Scan your victim's picture, and scale his head to fit exactly over the head of the 'mo in the "receiving" end. Clean it up and edit it so it looks more or less natural. Put your victim's voice number on the picture in text, with a caption like "for a good time call", and upload it everywhere (using bogus accounts of course). Most sysops will nuke the picture on sight, but among those who keep it, there will be a few whose users download it and actually call your victim looking for gay sex. This is particularly evil and antisocial if your victim happens to be a minor, as it will attract _pedophiles_. (Attention Cops: Have any of you considered twisting this idea into a sting operation to nail pedophiles in the act of trying to solicit their prey? It's about as ethical as having policewomen go downtown in sexy clothes and flash passers-by a little tit to try and entrap would-be johns... but at least it's more "politically correct"!) ============================================================================== Hey, boys and gurls, it's now permitted in some areas to actually bill a phone customer for calling a 1-800 number just like a 1-900 number. And the services billed this way can get REALLY expensive - there was talk in comp.dcom.telecom lately of a 1-800 number which cost .00 to call! If your victim's CO allows it, try forwarding his calls to one of these. Or use a bud box to call one. Or, if you are truly evil, have your local PC-Board Retard BBS call it with its call back verifier - multiple times, usually! Or submit it as a node in Fidonet. The assumption by the public that 1-800 equals free call is exactly the kind of blissful ignorance that an alert misanthrope is always hoping to find. P.s. It was reported in comp.dcom.telecom that such numbers work great from COCOTs. Screw 'em hard! ============================================================================== Two years ago, when I was writing Pranks 15, the state of the art in water weaponry was arguably the Water Uzi. But now, in 1992, it is clear that the Super Soaker family has emerged to dominate the hydro-arsenal industry. Its long range and high power make for a guaranteed hit and an easy getaway. And, it's only a water gun. What are they gonna do, charge you with manslaughter? I reccommend a two-gun suite: a Super Soaker 100 or 200 for high-power long-distance squirt-'n'-run missions, and a Soaker pistol filled with lemon juice or some other food-grade acidic substance that will cause severe irritation of the eyes (but not necessarily damage - like the 'tards who filled one with bleach and started shooting innocent kids and women) on contact. The pistol will become necessary in your own personal defence if a soaking victim should happen to decide to come after you with a crowbar, otherwise you shouldn't need it. High powered water guns are perfect for - Jehovah's Witnesses, who stand on the street corner and prostitute their religion like common whores. Yell "Praise Jah" as you flee the scene. - The creep that stands on the corner downtown and preaches at the top of his lungs. Same drill as JWs above. Bring friends; it's no coincidence that his buddy handing out pamphlets is a 6'5" linebacker. - Bicycle couriers, who take a course in unsafe, discourteous riding. Everyone's been cut off by one of these pricks at least once. - Cats who like to fornicate outside your bedroom window at 4:30 AM, screaming as if they are trying to kill each other (which actually isn't too far from the truth). - Skateboarders, whom most everyone agrees should just be shot with "lead-squirting" guns. - Panhandlers, who should know better than to ask for spare change from an anarchist with a Soaker 200 and an attitude... - Women who sunbathe topless, face down so that they don't get tan lines but their tits don't show. On the beach they should know better. Have a camera ready when you do these babes, but be ready to haul ass if they have boyfriends with them. - Protestors, peace marchers, tree-huggers, striking unionists who already make an hour complaining that they are underpaid. These assholes are only proving one thing: They're assholes. When going water strafing with group targets such as protests and rallies, get a few friends to help as there will be lots of them and you want to achieve a high hit rate before the mob starts chasing you. A few dozen water balloons (or, better yet, piss balloons) to serve as "grenades" are a perfect accoutrement for this kind of attack. Smoke bombs and tear gas are also fun to bring to peace marches, but that's a subject for another text file. Buy your friends a round of Super Big Gulps an hour prior to the hit, and when they drink them and the "urge" hits, have them relieve themselves into the tanks of their guns. Effect self-explanatory. And for fuck sakes be careful. We live in a world where 8-year-olds get their heads blown off with .45's for inadvertently getting a drop of water on some asshole fucked up on dust and packing a real piece. ============================================================================== Miscellaneous Phun - In a store with a security stamp detector at the door (a magnetic device which detects electronic "stamps" attached to merchandise), try surreptitiously removing one or more of the stamps and carefully attaching it to an employee or customer's clothing, so that they don't notice. Or just slap 'em on the back and say "Hi there... oops, I thought you were someone I knew, sorry..." just like attaching a "kick me" sign. Wait outside until the victim tries to leave. This will also help you to identify plainclothesmen for future reference... - If you can access a victim's purse or duffel bag, you can do the same trick as above, and the first library or security-conscious store they try to leave will bring about the desired effect. - Write "This is a hold-up. Give me all your money." on the back of a deposit slip in a bank. Put the slip back on the pile, preferably several sheets down from the top for a delayed effect. The effect will be self-evident. I have a friend who does this all the time. Lord knows how many false bank robbery police calls this guy has caused... - If you can get access to a victim's checkbook, you are in luck. Do the same trick above to his personalized deposit slips ;-) - Stink bombs with LONG time delays (like several hours or so) are great for storefront mail slots. Just run by at 4:00AM and throw it in, if it's timed to go off in 4 hours the place will smell awful by 8:00 when the first employees should be just about arriving to open up. Works better in winter during a bitter cold snap, when it is unlikely that they will leave the doors and windows open to ventilate the smell away. Try this at your local Jehovah's Witness Kingdom Hall. - This weekend the Jehovah's Witnesses held a major convention at the arena across the street from me. They parked their cars everywhere, along residential streets, blocking driveways, causing a traffic nightmare. Remember this is the same JW organization that pushes their faith door-to-door as though they were peddling Kirby vacuums. So I went down to the local Red Cross, picked up a "Give Blood Please" pamphlet, and made several hundred photocopies up, and put them under the windshield wipers of the annoying parked cars. (Jehovah's Witnesses have a religious objection to blood transfusions, for those of you who don't get it...) - Attaching bumper stickers along the lines of "Gay Rights Now" and "Queer Nation" (not to mention nice clean Red Cross bumper stickers) to the above JWs' cars is another idea I toyed with before settling for the Red Cross pamphlets. - Similarly, a "please give blood" sign in a window next to your front door will make JWs think twice about knocking. Especially if, right next to it, is the following: "Solicitors, Peddlers, Jehovah's Witnesses etcetera: Please remove watches, jewelry, belt buckles, and other metal objects before ringing doorbell. Our Pit Bull has trouble digesting such items." - I've never tried inviting door-to-door zealots to a Black Mass before. Someone tell me if it works. Trying to convert a proselytizing JW to Hare Krishna is another idea I'd love someone ELSE to try. - Usually JWs travel in pairs, and often by bicycle when door-to-dooring. What a perfect time to implement some of my previous files' bicycle related Krazy Glue tricks. Just invite them in, offer them a coffee, and let them run their spiel, while an accomplice goes outside and uses Krazy Glue to lock their fucking brakes open. ============================================================================== The Krazy Glue Tricks from Hell section - One or two drops of Krazy Glue, allowed to spread along the circumference of the pull-tab of a soft drink can, will render the can impossible to open by the normal means. One or two TUBES of Krazy Glue is enough to do an average vending machine's inventory... - I have a friend who loves Butterfinger bars. So much so, in fact, that he thinks everyone should eat them. So he took his trusty Krazy Glue down to the local university, and walked up to the bank of vending machines there. The one that sold candy looked like the perfect target. He found the button that produces Butterfinger bars and used Krazy Glue to permanently hold it down. After it set, of course, he tested it: As soon as he put in his $1.10 the machine dutifully expelled a Butterfinger. The next morning there were no Butterfingers left in that machine, and nothing else had sold. My friend was elated - the next evening he did the same thing to the 20-or-so other candy machines scattered over the campus. Unfortunately he hadn't read my earlier Krazy Glue trick where you Krazy Glue the coin return door shut, and come back the next day with Krazy Glue Solvent... - Mechanical/electric typewriters. Not the daisy wheel kind or the letter ball kind but the older kind with a long mechanical arm for each letter. Just Krazy Glue one letter, in fact don't even make it a common one, do Q or X or something. Stick it so it doesn't fire. It'll eventually drive them nuts, which is much more fun than simply gluing all of them and having them throw the typewriter out. ------------------------------- Have you seen those nasty things they have in some parking lots where you can only drive over them one way? Drive the wrong way on one and you'll pop all four tires. These are usually marked with "No Entrance - Severe Tire Damage" which is an understatement as the tires are a writeoff. Wouldn't it be great to put one of these where someone least expects to find one? Like in someone's driveway, or their parking spot at work? Well, good luck finding a real one just like your local shopping mall, but you CAN manufacture a field expedient version quite cheaply. Just pound a bunch of four inch nails, at a 45 degree angle, into a 1"x3" board about 8 feet long, at one inch intervals. Spray paint the whole assembly the same shitty dark gray colour as the pavement. Use a few more four inch nails to hold the thing to the pavement (you may be surprised how soft asphalt really is...). If your victim is sharp he'll see it before it's too late, but this file assumes that part of your prejudice against your victim is to do with his stupidity... By the way, it's said that the RCMP no longer need to engage in high speed pursuits. They just lay out a portable version of the above ahead of the fugitive's path, close the road ahead, and wait for him to barrel over it at 90 MPH. I have heard that some spectacular crashes have been caused with this tool, and no RCMP casualties... Wouldn't it be a shame if one was left on an open highway at night (while your victim is on his way to God knows where on the same route...) Well, as a lot of you know, I run a popular BBS with girlie files in it. In fact, my BBS has been a focus of attention for irate parents and curious cops, so I keep a tight rein on who gets access to these rather interesting little stories of sex and bondage. This means no-one under 18, a very liberal cutoff, gets access to 'em. Well, this incensed a few of my younger, less mature users who seemed to think I owed them the earth, moon, and most of the inner planets along with access to these girlie files. To make a long story short, the little turds egged my house and wrote a few rag files. Rag files about the Fixer. I can see you all running for the blast shelters. I found myself reminded of the age-old saying, "live by the sword and you will die by the sword." There would be no nasty letters to parents, no indirect wardialing, no credit card frames, no stinkbombs in the unsuspecting urchins' lockers. They lived by the sword, and as Ghod is my witness they died by the sword when I took one of my raunchier homosexual bondage stories and replaced the names of the main characters with the names of these little r0desters. In fact several editions were made, one for each kid, each with the kid's name being used for the submissive ram-ee. Nice little stories about anuses and baseball bats, you understand, where the kids were catching, not pitching. Each of these files was sent, by fax, using a fax card programmed with a bogus header, to each kid's parents at work. The headers indicated the source of the fax as being the father of the most obnoxious of my marks. One was faxed to the kid's school, and the dominant character was the kid's principal. THAT story's probably true... Two of them no longer have access to their computers and likely won't again until they reach adulthood and move out. The rest are strangely quiet lately... "Bunny Lust" would be a good alternative, as most non-modeming people have never seen it and it is widely available. I've got a neat text file called "Fax Phun" which describes a technique called the "Moebius Fax." It's basically several sheets of black paper taped together in a big loop and fed into the fax machine (taped together once in the machine) to form an endless loop. I've done this before and the first thing I want to say is that it DOES piss people off. However, it's not perfect because the loop will almost certainly go out of alignment or will jam or some mickeymouse shit like that. The call would then be aborted before you got the REAL effect you wanted - the ruination of an entire roll of fax paper! However, the advent of cheap Fax Cards has brought about a new kind of Moebius Fax. It's not really "endless" but you CAN make it VERY LONG. Just concatenate a bunch of copies of "Bunny Lust" or whatever together to make a HUGE text file. We're talking megabytes here. Gigantic. Enough to empty a fax roll. Set up your Bitfax software to send this textfile by fax to your victim. Make sure you have lots of disk space as the intermediary file Bitfax will create will be many times larger than your already-huge textfile. Reprogram the software to send a bogus header - maybe with another victim's name and phone number. And then fax away. Do this a couple of nights in a row and then stop because by then the Telco will have placed a print monitor on the line. By the way, using the same kinds of text files as in the above fax pranks will amplify the annoyance factor of this trick... A good friend of mine works in a copy shop and, knowing of my rather sadistic leanings, felt compelled to tell me just how hard copy toner stains are to remove from clothes. Especially the purplish multi-coloured used toner dreck from full colour copiers... So, thought I, what a great way to recycle copy toner. Stuff a bunch into a rubber balloon (until it's stretched), shove an M-100 in after it and a suitable fuse. Discretely place near your intended victim, light, get away. Your victim will think World War III has started with the explosion and the hail of toner, and will find his clothes hopelessly soiled... Alternatively, if you have less tact, just walk up to your victim and dump the contents of the used toner bin onto him. He'll either try to stomp your guts out or just stand there stunned, piss his pants, and ask you what constructive purpose THAT served... Video rental place screwed you over? Have no fear, revenge is here. The movie was full of bad spots and should have been thrown out ages ago. You can accelerate its trip to the landfill, and through the use of creative anarchy you can take a few VCR's with it! It's really simple. Video tape does not like to stick to itself. When it does, it can wrap around the very fast-moving rotary video head, causing a world of problems. But when you cause the tape to stick to itself by injecting lubricating oil into the cassette's case, you will not only double the repair cost of the VCR, you will also foul any tapes that should be played in that VCR if the tape happens to survive, reducing their lifespans by about 100% as well! One other thing that a friend used to do when he thought a rental movie was a ripoff, is he used to set up a titling program on his C-64 and record nasty messages like: "Raghead Video Sucks and So Does This Movie" in big letters on the blank tape at the end. Ah, Paintball, what a relaxing way to while away your weekends. NOT! Obvious things to do with a paintball gun are snipe at Jehovahs, splatter an enemy's house, car, and dog, and ruin feminist posters at your local university. But, eventually, you will tire of colouring your world with your trusty little CO2 pistol, and will want to put it to better use. A suggestion by one of my users is to use a syringe to suck the contents from a paint ball, and another to refill the ball with whatever you want. Mace, stinkum, cyanide. Even mind-altering drugs, or just piss. Close off the tiny hole with a little epoxy or silicone (I suggest surrounding the needle before withdrawing it) and you have one hell of a nasty "paint" ball. Naturally, you aim for the face. And if you get caught, well, the cop who writes up his report on you will have a story to tell his grandchildren... An update to my Krazy Glue trick which involved coin-operated machines: I suggested Krazy Glue along with some paper to provide volume. However it will be easier, quicker, and just about as effective if you buy a tube of Silicone, put on the fine tip and just squeeze that shit into a coin slot. Works best close to closing time so the shit can set before someone tries to put a quarter in. Well, that's Pranks XVIII. I'll leave you with a pleasant thought... "If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon, a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You're not even human fucking beings! You are nothing but unorganized flabbastic pieces of amphibian shit! Do you maggots understand that?" - USMC Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Senior Drill Instructor, Parris Island. Call: THC (604) 361-4549 1200-9600v32 --------------------- This issue: Framing your enemies - An Effective Revenge Tactic Well, in the past I have dealt with framing people in a very small way, e.g. planting weed in your neighbor's garden, placing drugs or liquor in a buddy's locker, etcetera. When someone narcs on you, the best revenge is always to use the system to which they suck up to, against them and for your own benefit. Therefore this file will detail some advanced ways to get someone into all the trouble they deserve, and without implicating you! HIGH-TECH VOICE & AD FRAME JOBS: Did you ever see the movie "Used Cars"? Where the used car lot is almost shut down in court because a guy hired by the lot across the street modified a TV commercial (thru ingenious splicing) so that it contained many obvious lies, thus making people complain of false advertising? Well, there are several different levels on which YOU can do this. First, the easiest. Put an ad in the paper with an enemy company's logo and phone number, so that it looks just like one of their ads. But use slightly different text than they do. Make sure to blatantly slander their competition (yourself, maybe?) so that there is NO WAY that they could "get away with" the ad. Make sure that you know the name of the target company's ad person in case the newspaper asks. Also, if they ask for a phone number, don't give them your number or the target company's. Give them a Loop (consult BIOC 003's files for instruction on how to use these). Now, the slightly harder one. This is basically the same technique used in "Used Cars", only it's for a Radio commercial instead. What you do is, using a HIGH QUALITY radio receiver and tape recorder, record a new ad played over the radio. The recording has got to be STUDIO QUALITY so use either the most expensive cassettes you can get, or better yet, use a reel to reel machine. Also, make sure there is NO radio noise on the recording. Now, simply find a word in the pitch that would be slanderous or a preposterous claim if only ONE syllable were taken out. In "Used Cars" they changed "SMILES" to "MILES" and almost got them for claiming to have "MILES of cars" which they did not. With a little creativity and a sharp ear you too can find something damaging deep within ANY commercial. Now, once the tape is modified thru creative splicing (and make sure that it sounds natural, for chrissakes), take the tape to a radio station that is not playing the ad. Have the bill for advertising sent to the target company (of course). After awhile, the competition of the target company will be taking the target to court over false advertising, or a disgruntled customer perhaps. The Toughie: Here's one that requires GOOD sound digitizing equipment (like, one of the new-generation 32-bit micros with LOTS of memory and special speech-digitization hardware. (Get a REAL computer. Get a Mac ][.)) You tape-record the voice of an enemy or of a local radio announcer until you have a large amount of high-quality speech. Now, you use your digitizer to extract and digitize a whole array of speech phonemes, in various inflections. If the digitizer is good, you will be able to capture speech that is indistinguishable from the original. Now, use these phonemes to create whatever text YOU want your enemy or your target's commercial to say. If your target is a person, publicly broadcast (thru a PA system or whatever) incriminating conversations in the guy's voice. If the target is a company, then submit your new-improved commercial to a radio station as detailed above. Toughest, but easy for those with the hardware: If you can get access to the abovementioned digitizing computer, and to 3/4 inch video recording equipment (or better, but NOT VHS, BETA, or 8MM), you can also modify some television commercials. Just capture a commercial on the 3/4 inch video, modify its sound track as detailed above, and send it to a TV station that isn't playing the commercial. There are restrictions though: The commercial must be of the type that has an announcer and/or music in the background with no lips moving on the part of the person who is talking. In the above tactics, it is also important to have a voice-remover box handy, if there is music in the background. What you do is, digitize your recorded phonemes, use the voice remover to produce a tape recording of the music alone, 'sans vox', and then dub-over your digitized "new" commercial. If you construct the phonemes into words right, you should come up with a very authentic sounding commercial, except that it is going to get "someone" in a whole mess of trouble. A POSSIBILITY: If there was still a Draft, a possible tactic would be to check your target's mailbox every morning before he does, and if a letter from the U.S. Army ever came, to run off with his Draft notice. As a Canadian, I am not sure of the time span involved in waiting for the consequences (we have no Draft here) but it seems to me that this trick would eventually produce MP's at the front door of said target. This is just a thought for my American readers..... A CASE STUDY IN ANTI-FRAMING REVENGE: When I was in grade 8, I was in this boarding school (only I didn't board there because it was in my hometown). Well, there was this mega-nerd from Seattle there who hated my guts. So one day, I find myself sitting in the Dean's office accused of mugging this idiot downtown on the weekend. Well, the geek's frame job was so shoddy that it took me about 5 minutes to convince the Dean that the idiot was fucking the Dean and me around. So, I was scot-free and the geek was never trusted again. That is what I took advantage of: The very next day, I saw him downtown and beat the living crap out of him in the street. Naturally he went narking to the Dean again, but this time he just got an instant "Bull Shit" from the Dean. You see, when someone tries to frame you for personal damage, if you manage to convince the authorities that you are innocent, consider yourself free to actually do whatever it is you are framed for, because the next time, your framer will be called the boy-who-cried-wolf. No one takes an exposed framer seriously. (So be careful!) Call........ TOMMY'S HOLIDAY CAMP BBS: 604-595-0085 THE NEUTRAL ZONE 10 MEGS: 604-478-1363 B.C. TEL PHONE MART GBBS: 604-658-1586 THE METAL A.E. P/W: KILL: 201-879-6668 ----------------------------- This lesson: Destroying an Apple! In previous articles I have written many techniques for revenge through sabotage. In addition to my thousands of Krazy Glue Tricks (only a few of which have actually been posted in files), I have devised a great many sabotage techniques for animate and inanimate objects. However, these were generally rather basic due to a desire to fit as many into one file as possible. Now, those days are over as I write larger, more helpful files. So, then, here is Pranks 11: Advanced Sabotage 1 - How to Destroy an Apple Computer. HOW TO BLOW UP AN APPLE COMPUTER: Anyone can blow up anything with a stick of dynamite and a fuse or det-box. But what we have here is the most exquisite way known to destroy an Apple computer. The reason I picked Apple is NOT just because I hate them, but because they are very easy to get inside of, and there is lots of room inside for a bomb or whatever. This tactic will actually work for any machine, but if you don't want to turn the machine upside down and unscrew god-knows-how-many-screws, wasting time that you probably don't have, then use an Apple. Anyways, down to it. Make a bomb with an electrical igniter that lights when 6 volts are applied to it. Smoke bombs are great for computers; they quite nicely fuck up a computer's board and make the machine smoke like hell too. The effect is great, especially if you pick either a brand-new (never used) machine or one that has had many hardware problems in the past. Now, attach the igniter leads to the switched +12 supply and ground. Close the computer. As soon as the machine is turned on, its doom is sealed as the bomb ignites. It may even let out its initial BEEP before its ROMs get melted. If you are really destructive, go to high school, and don't mind your school not having any computer science department anymore, then this may be for you: If all the machines in the school's computer room are connected to a master switch, and all go on when the switch is thrown, then it would be a tremendous coup if you could (at a time when the machines are off) plant a smoke bomb or other bomb in EACH machine. Oh, here's a good one: if you can find or make an electrical igniter that will go off with the current from the Annunciator output of the Apple, then you have the potential to create some really professional havoc. Simply attach the bomb to an annunciator line and ground, and then leave a disk lying around that says "Great New Wares" on it. This is a great follow-up to my infamous sandpaper diskette. What the disk contains is, a whole bunch of really big files (the magic of sector editors) with the name a new ware on them, and a 2 sector one named HELLO. After perusing the catalog, the sucker will naturally boot up the ware. HELLO will then boot up what appears to be a nice crack screen, with the warning that if a certain peripheral is hooked up, the system will crash (name a peripheral that is plugged into the target machine). Give JUST enough pause time that the guy at the machine can read it, then have the annunciator to which you have attached your bomb activated, just as a text message saying "PIRATE COPY ---- SYSTEM SUSPENDED" comes on the screen. Immediately massive billowing clouds of smoke will pour out of the machine and the guy will freak, telling stories of how such-and-such a protection scheme can ACTUALLY SET THE MACHINE ON FIRE if you mess with it. (Only a r0dent would actually believe such a thing, but the response you could elicit is well worth the try). If you can't find an igniter that will go off under the current from an annunciator, or if you are blowing up a different machine whose programmable outputs of whatever type have very little current output, then wire up a relay with the +12 supply or a battery that CAN do the job. +12 or battery I I +--------IIII-----+ + I I + + + + + + + +--* + * ignitor + +--* + + / + + / + +------ O--------- relay sw. @@@@@@@ relay coil + + + + + + gnd. annunciator NOTE: These techniques will work with superior computers such as the Timex Sinclair, but the effect is not as good. This file was written June 1987 by the Fixer, when he still had a Commodore. Rumor has it he's wised up and is getting a //e in Jan. It is a response to "How to crash a Comodork BBS", one of which T.F. still happens to run... Call: TOMMY'S HOLIDAY CAMP 604-595-0085 BC TEL PHONE MART 604-658-1586 THE NEUTRAL ZONE 604-478-1363 HEART OF GOLD 604-658-1581 THE METAL AE 201-879-6668 DARQUESIDE AE 408-245-7726 ---------------------------------- "Tele-Phun" OK, here are a few tricks you can do via telecommunications channels..... - Did you know that some BBS programs crash when the number of users gets too large? I wrote a program called "Byter Writer", named for Jas0n "c0ckbyter" Anders0n, which gives your favorite sysop all the users he could want and then some.....It spent all night logging onto Byter's Board logging on plebian users... BYTER 1 BYTER 2 BYTER 3 BYTER 4 . . . BYTER 376 BYTER 377 "Fatal error! Too Many UserXHXYglyGYLF7r87('07f0f7('(rfvF68I['0:0@9u@* *erhy8v828b98v0v0(08bp0@:*@90*8vvVVVv0@q:q:udmnqnq8bq@f121f*6FNFCB0BN0 HF8HN781N0NVB8Q2N2878287874NJVL7VBNFNKJTKNHKG56G4 You get the idea. - Here's a quick way to take a pay phone off line: (Thanx to TT for this one) Just go up to a fortress, dial 0, and yell "Hey Wench, You Suck, I Rule". The operator will disconnect the phone from service, and these have been known to stay out of service for hours this way (until the op that disconnected it ends her shift...) Ah, the joys of auto-dialing Jas0n Anders0n's voice line. Before I put up a BBS, and before Byter Writer was written, I used to sick non-carrier detecting auto-dialers on him. (jas0n was an asshole, he deserved everything he got and more) One day, though, I heard a recording emanate from my Hayes: "The number you have reached is not in service". He had changed the number! Well, most vengeful types would say "SHIT! I'M SCREWED!" but not me. We simply went over to Byter's house at 4 AM one day with a Bud Box. After making free calls at Byter's expense for awhile (we also did a lot of Blue Boxing, just to make sure he got a visit from Bell, thay are about his only friends now that they make a killing changing his number all the time), we did a ANI (it's 211 around these parts) and within 6 hours everyone had the new number. We haven't been back to his place lately but it is rumored that he has Krazy-Glued his grey Terminal box shut. *SIGH* guess I will have to go over there with some KRAZY GLUE SOLVENT (remember you are reading a file by KING Krazy Glue) and open that sucker up again. Maybe install a nice scarlet box and re-glue it. Some auto-dialing tips (while we're still on the topic). - Overnight, it's best to have the dialer go only once an hour or so. This is because, no matter how often your dialer dials, the victim will only let it ring his phone 3 or 4 times before he wises up and takes the phone off the hook. If you let it run 10 times a minute, the victim will leave the phone off the hook all night, and get a good night's sleep, and that won't do, will it? You let the dialer run every hour on the hour and you will completely ruin the victim's sleep, for he will be up every hour all night answering the phone. - Conversely, when auto-dialing a business during the day, have your dialer run as fast as it can. In fact, since there are usually two lines in a business fone, have two dialers running (get a friend to help). A business can't just leave the phone off the hook and if both lines are tied up by your dialers, they can't call the phone company to complain either. This worked rather successfully when I had just quit a local Bingo place. I set my dialer to wait a while before dialing so that it wouldn't start until I got there. I wanted to see the look on everyone's faces, plus I could not be blamed because I was right there and obviously not at a phone... Anyways, almost the second I walked in the door of the Bingo Place to pick up my pay check, the fortress fone on the wall started ringing. It rang 3 times, and stopped. Then the business phone rang. It was answered by an employee who got silence (the modem was in originate mode so it sent no carrier). CLICK, and the payphone went again. Then the business phone. This was all very noisy and pissed a lot of people off because they couldn't hear the Bingo Caller over the phones ringing. On my way home, passersby couldn't understand why this crazy guy with a paycheck in his hand who just came out of the Bingo Place was laughing so hard..... - If you have a CAT or other modem that supports digitized speech, have your dialer utter a few words every time it dials..... phone: DRRRRRRRRNG! Jas0n: "Hello" modem: "Jas0n is a Space Fagg0t!!!" Jas0n: CLUNK!!!!!! (he fainted, this is the 27th time today this has happened...) What else is fun? Ah yes, everywhere you go you see rodents bitching that their Call Alert fucks up their data calls. And it does, and unless you have selective call alert, you can't do much about it. Wouldn't it be REALLY r0dently if a BBS line had Call Alert? Every time it was busy and someone else called in, "poof" BOTH callers get fried. So, call up your local CO's business office and order Call Alert for your favorite sysop today! Here is a way to defeat callback security found on some BBS systems and other online systems: When you call a number, you remain connected to them until YOU hang up, not them. So, when you call a BBS with callback security, you just stay on the line after it tells you to hang up. The BBS's modem will hang up, and then pick up again, and you will hear it touch-tone the number of the person whose account you are trying to get into. The BBS will then offer you its carrier......and you're in! PROPOSAL: THE FISH BOX (I will be building one of these in early 1988, it has not been tried yet to my knowledge). A while ago some friends and I were talking about gaining Calling card codes by eavesdropping at payphones and listen to the codes that the saps verbally told the operators. Well, we came across a problem. Now that you can directly dial a calling card call without going through the operator, it is rare that someone will still use a calling card verbally these days, and so standing around eavesdropping didn't sound very productive anymore. Well, at the time some of us were playing with bugs and wiretaps, and the thought came to me: What if I were to install a bug in a fortress? I could tape record everything said on the line plus I would have every touch tone dialed! This sounded fine until I got to the touch tones. I for one am tone deaf; I couldn't tell what tone was what number if I tried. So, why not run the tones through a DTMF receiver? Sure, then every single digit dialed on the pay phone would just appear on my computer monitor...this would not only include calling cards but also any extenders that anyone might legitimately use, plus accounts to ADS systems. The potential to gain phreak codes in this manner is enormous.. Anyways, now you can see why I call it the FISH box; you are essentially fishing for codes and if you are persistent eventually someone will bite..... PROBLEMS: - Getting the bug into the payphone can be a problem but we are working on it... - You still have to be relatively close to the fone in order to get good reception of the bug. Don't sit around for hours, find a place to stash your tape recoder and bug receiver where no one can find it and come back for it later. If there are lockers nearby and they are not made of metal they will do fine. Anyways, I will be writing the official box plans next month. If anyone has any luck with this project before then, let me know how you made out. -=( The FIXER )=- Call: TOMMY'S HOLIDAY CAMP (604) 595-0085 THE NEUTRAL ZONE (604) 478-1363 BC TEL PHONE MART (604) 658-1586 THE METAL AE (201) 879-6668 DARQUESIDE AE (408) 245-7726 ---------------------- *SIGH* Well, I have been collecting new Krazy Glue Tricks for six months now and it's high time I put them in a file..... So without further ado....... Basically Krazy Glue Tricks involve making things incapable of operating by freezing the inner workings. So it should come as no surprise that these and all other Krazy Glue tricks have an amazing similarity, like they are all brothers and sisters (incestuous little buggers), but this only adds a new dimension of evil to them............. Buttons. I have expounded in the past upon Krazy Gluing many things but buttons have been largely ignored. Here I will explain the expected results of pushing a button and Krazy Gluing it in that position. - Keys on a Pay Phone: New Phone Time! - Elevator Buttons (try the top few floors): people will begin to wonder just why every trip the elevator makes an unscheduled stop at each of the top 10 floors. - Keypad on a Remote Control. Do this one button per day. The victim will be able to tune fewer and fewer stations every day and this is what is known as SLOW TORTURE, boys and girls. And that's what this file is all about. - This also works well on those phones with a row of buttons for its "quick calling" demon dialer. Every day freeze a button from most frequently used to least. If you do this in conjunction with the remote control or other such keypad devices, the torture grows exponentially. And the damage is often irreparable (as Krazy Glue solvent doesn't ONLY dissolve Krazy Glue) - I have often told of pouring Krazy Glue into the keys of a computer. But why not just do the REPT key and see how much fun we have...if the victim is a real stiff he will have the keyboard ROM replaced before he figures out that the REPT contacts were glued down and the key and spring left working... - Some intersections are controlled entirely by the WALK button. So it seems that if that button were pressed continually the light would turn red every thirty seconds instead of, well, never if it was left alone... During rush hour this can get good, but don't do it if you live in Southern California near a freeway...You're too young to die..... - Got an enemy with a satellite dish? You say his folks watch the bible bangers network? PERFECT. On Saturday Night go and move his satellite dish to point at a sat with a porno channel on it. Before doing this try to get in his house somehow and Krazy Glue the tuner to the transponder channel of XXX Network or whatever. Krazy Glue the dish in that position. USE LOTS. That porno is the only thing they will get until they fork out mega-bucks to get it all fixed, and if they were expecting Jim and Tammy, they are in for a massive shock. Shock and Torture. Could there be two more beautiful words? - Well, Son, it's January the 5th, high time we took the Christmas Lights down off the house. Sure, Dad, if only they weren't Krazy Glued to the eavestroughs, and the switch, breaker,and outlet all Krazy Glued so we can't turn them off. Well, maybe we can just unscrew the bulbs. Yeah, but they're stuck in somehow............ - Ski Season! Look at them skis on the roof rack of the car that just pulled into the parking lot! Let's wait till they're gone inside and make sure those skis don't get stolen.....by Krazy Gluing 'em to the racks! There'll be fun on the mountain when we come....Yo ho ho and a bottle of Rum..... (NOTE: this tactic is guaranteed to produce frustration no matter what is on the racks, but skis seem to work best as it's not usually until they've driven 400 miles to the mountain that they even notice that the ONE thing they need to go skiing is stuck permanently to the roof.......) - People have been known to stick to their diets better when the fridge, freezer, stove, and all kitchen cupboards are Krazy Glued shut, and when they go out to the car to go hit Rotten Ronnie's, they find it Krazy Glued shut, and when they go back inside to order a large pizza "2fer special" they find the phone receiver stuck mysteriously to the base...... - They're moving! At last you've driven your enemy out of town! Well, don't let 'em go without a parting shot. Before they pack up, Krazy Glue all their furniture to the floor...... WHAT? THAT'S IT??? N0 WAY!!!! 0H WELL!!!!!!!!! Blackened is the end... Call Heart of Gold 6046581581 Tardis 6046426286 IBM Pirates eh... the rest can fuck off and die! ------------------------- [Yawn] another PRANKS, REVENGE, and GENERAL MAYHEM file from THE FIXER July, 1988 I guess this makes #14 now... THC-][ (604) 595-0085 Metal AE (201) 879-6668 pw=KILL [1] Huge Phone Bills: 1.1 If your intended victim has a middle- or high-end answering machine or subscribes to a VMS service, you're in luck. These are usually endowed with the capability to remotely change the outgoing message tape (or memory, whatever) and are protected with a pathetic 2-4 digit code. Once you crack one of these, change the message going out so it says "This machine accepts ALL collect calls". Then get all your friends and relatives in Europe, south America, China, Antarctica, etc making collect calls to it. They don't have to say anything, just keep the line open. 1.2 The bud-box. It's not a box at all really and it's the k-neetest way for losers like your victim to phreak. What you do is hook up your modified phone to the victim's outside terminal box (not too difficult unless you're Capt. Kirk would do is call 1-976-PORN for a few minutes and then bugger off scared that someone might see them. This won't really cost your enemy too much and he'll have his box steel-plated next time you come back (Jas0n C0ckbyter Anders0n did this after someone went to his box to do an ANI with a bud-box to get his new phone number. It had just been changed because SOMEONE had posted about a 200 meg AE being at that number). What a vengeful phreak with brains would do is call the most expensive phone number he can possibly think of (there are some south Pacific Islands that are obscenely pricey to call; Marisat is a good ripoff too...) and instead of sticking around for weeks, just put a 600 ohm load (preferably a 10 cent resistor from Shack) across the box terminals, and leave it there. The line will stay open until someone starts to wonder what's going on, and by that time you'll be long gone and there'll be about $1,000,000,000,000 in Long Distance charges already billed. 1.3 Steal his Calling Card. Post it on every BBS and AE in the entire US of A. I don't need to say more about this and it's been done many times anyways. 1.4 Befriend him. Include him in your elite circle of hacker friends (none of your REAL contacts, just other losers...). Make him think he's just totally k-awesome. Then get him excited about blowing up his area code with a Blotto Box (ha ha ha). InSIST that every major phreak has Blotto Boxed their exchange at least once and that if he's ever going to be / []:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[] :: :: :: Hide your women and your gold! He's back! Run!! RUN!!!! :: :: :: :: THE FIXER in 1990 Presents :: :: Pranks, Revenge, and General Mayhem XV :: :: :: :: This Lesson: Hot Phun in the Summertime :: :: Article dedicated to the memory of The Aardvark, may he burn in Hell. :: :: :: []:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[] Well, this is my first Pranks file in almost two years now. Looking back at my old work, I have decided that the world needs more violence, more death, more destruction, more chaos. Fuck peace; rebuild the wall! Fuck disarmament, nukes for everyone! If you love something, kill it. If you hate something, try a few of these out......... -=( The Fixer )=- []:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[] A DAY IN THE LIFE OF THE AARDVARK: Ah, yes. It's a nice cool early Monday morning, about an hour before dawn. Let's see to it that Vark doesn't miss his beauty sleep. Cut the power lines to his house. Don't risk electrocution; use a .22. With a silencer. Also make sure he won't be phoning anywhere; take out his Tel line. Well, now you've just taken a major burden out of Vark's puny little life: He won't have to worry about getting up early on Monday morning. Without that clock-radio, he won't BE getting up early Monday morning. So, 10:30 AM rolls around. Vark rolls out of bed, looks at the clock radio. Its LEDs are out. He looks at his watch. He's already missed two periods at school. ACK!! He runs for the bathroom and hits the shower. It's cold; the electricity has been out for hours. So, smelling like a locker room, he throws on his And Justice For All shirt and brand-new K-Mart denims, grabs his skateboard, and heads for the door. But, alas, it won't open. It has been Krazy-Glued shut, it'll take power tools to get it open. Which won't work because he has no electricity. So he heads for the back door. Same drill. The kitchen window. Glued. His bedroom window. Stuck. The bathroom window. Cyanoacrylate city. Flustered, he screams, "Good Fucking Grief!!!". His parents awake. They want to know why the power is out. They notice that the phone doesn't work. "Your computer friends had something to do with this, didn't they, young man!" Finally he smashes the kitchen window, he's soooo late he'll be soooo screwed if he doesn't get to school. He skates off, down the driveway. Too bad he didn't see the trip wire at neck-level (plus two inches to allow for the skateboard...). His driveway is a down-grade, so he is skating pretty fast when he gets clotheslined. His parents see him lying on his back, in pain. "Have you been taking drugs, young man?" AARGH! I must get to school, he thinks. Skating for all he's worth, he is nearly there when he skates past two older girls, who giggle at him. Seems his fly is undone. Seems he can't do it up. Yep, Krazy Glue. He falls off the board again trying to do his fly up, the girls who were giggling break into hysterical laughter. Beet red. Finally he gets to school. He goes to the front office, where he HAS to get a late slip or he'll do Study Hall until the end of Time. He tells them why he is late. The vice principal says, "I don't appreciate being lied to, young man, I want to see you after school. Oh, and do up your fly, you wouldn't want the ladies to see you like that!" aAaRgH!! Life's not fair, he thinks. Around noon hour, just as Vark is finished his first (and only) class of the morning (having endured an hour of torture from his cruel classmates about his fly and the fact that he needs a shower), the fire alarm rings. It seems the school has just received a bomb threat; there's a pound of C4 in someone's locker, but nobody knows whose. So all the kids are marshalled outside, and the police arrive. They search all the lockers. Finally, the principal comes outside. "It's all right, just a false alarm. You can all come back inside now." He tells one of the police officers, "That's him, officer, with the rock shirt and his fly down." He is pointing at Vark. The Friendly Policeman saunters over to our friend. "Mr. Silva, you'll have to come with me. We found this in your locker." The policeman shows him a ziploc baggie with about an eighth of skunk weed. "But- but- that's not mine! That wasn't in my locker! I don't know where that came from!" "Sure," says the pig, "That's what you kids all say. Now come quietly, punk. You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent..." Wasn't it silly of Vark to bring his lunch to school in a Ziploc baggie every day? Yup, his fingerprints are ALL OVER that little baggie full of marijuana. This, my phriends, is the virtue of trashing. Waste not, want not. Well, that's the end of Vark's day for today. His court date is in a week. His lawyer urges him to plead guilty and volunteer for drug counselling; that way he might get off with only a few months probation. His parents always suspected he was into drugs, they ground him for 6 months and disconnect the phone extension in his room. They are convinced it was drug pushers that Krazy Glued the house and cut the power and phone. []::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[] SUMMER HOLIDAYS WITH VARK Ah, summer. For you and me, it means fun, anarchy, and death under the sun. For Vark, it means Hell. What does Vark DO with all the time on his hands during the summer? Get a job? Go to summer camp? Party? Nope. He'll just cruise around on his skateboard, alone because he has no friends. Perfect. Ever heard of the Funnelator? Some people use it to launch water balloons, but for Vark, we'll add a special ingredient. Piss balloons. Five or six bags of urine smacking into his head at 200 miles per hour ought to do it. If you don't know what a funnelator is, it's a giant slingshot that takes three men to operate it. Read the file "Anarchy in the Snow" for more details. When Funnelating victims truly deserving of the most vile, degrading punishment available, try fresh shit or permanent ink instead. Water Uzi! Yep, the 80's did give us a few good things, one of them was toy water guns, motorized and with long range. These are employed daily by children and naive anarchists, but we are REAL anarchists. We recognize the true potential of this instrument of terror, and use it to the full. There's Vark skating down Yates Street now! WATER UZI!!! But what comes out of that water Uzi is not water at all. It's permanent ink, or piss, or concentrated acid (immerse the toy Uzi in melted WAX and let dry before filling with acid, or else it'll go through the plastic before it's full). If you can get close enough to guarantee a facial hit (the face is the one on his head, not the one below his back...) try using poisons or hallucinogenics. Prussic acid, a cyanide compound, works great but Vark won't SUFFER enough before he dies. If you use Prussic acid, ingest some photographer's hypo several hours before using it, that way you will live if something goes wrong. KRAZY GLUE AGAIN! Wouldn't it be JUST TOO BAD if all the thermostats in Vark's house were INTERNALLY Krazy Glued to full-blast? You can very easily make an electric thermostat that appears to be off stay on at all times. Since this is a summer fun section, I just thought it would be the hellish, anarchaic thing to do. I KNOW I HAVE PUT THIS IN A FILE BEFORE, but I'll reprint it. And it hasn't got much to do with summer either, but who cares? Is this theme night or what! OK. We all know well of the gray box on the outside of most peoples' houses where the telephone line terminates. Many text files, mostly of a fairly lame nature, have been written on the uses of this box for making "free" telephone calls or for introducing line noise, or even for prank calling. But to my knowledge, nobody has gone to Vark's house, dialed up an expensive dial-it service in Australia or South Africa, and just left a 600- ohm resistor across the terminals of his gray box, leaving the circuit closed all night! Nor, for that matter, have I heard of any hackers getting into a system with an outdial port, programming a demon dialer into it, and setting that dialer on Vark! A non-stop demon dial, and it won't be traced to you. I am almost ready to try it myself... []::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[] Well, these are my suggestions, and that's it for Pranks XV. Whenever you see anything with moving parts, Krazy Glue it. Whenever you see any food or drink, spike it. If you see a lamer like Shawn Silva, Aardvark, Vark, 'Varkster, Bruce, or The Hacker (all the same person), KILL IT! []::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[] THC 3/12/24oo 110 meg (604) 383-7874 |
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